my random thoughts

I cant think right now my mind is all over the place. I guess I am just bored and there’s noting better to do then just write every single thought that is going through my mind right now maybe after I get it all out I will be able to sleep and not have a night filled with racing thoughts.
Lets see I am thinking about my mom and how much I miss her I can still here her laugh and the way she use to baby talk. I am thinking about my dad and wondering how he is doing and wishing that I could write as good as he does. I am thinking about my kids and how much I would love to see them, but with no way to do so. I am thinking of Avery and how lucky I am to have such an understanding guy who loves me with no limits. I am thinking about how wonderful his family is and how lucky I am to have them and I am also thinking about my aunt and how she may be doing, I really should call her more often then I do. I really should call my dad to I bet he is wondering how I am doing. Well I am all thought out but if any more random thoughts come to mind I will be back with more to talk about. Now hopefully I can sleep. Good night all have a good night and a very good week.
Sincerely Billie atterberry
3/27/2009

swept away

To my feet I rose to see you as you passed me byI would lurk in the cornersto hear your sweet voiceI was entranced by the softness of your expressionMy heart just had no choicebut each day i would say helloshylythen walk on bymy soul eventually cried outI wanted to have you for my ownto taste those beautiful lipsseemed I had forever been alonemy will one day pushed me forwardyet I was afraid of a nobut when I asked if you'd like a datemy heart rushed to my throatwhen you saidsure I'll goafter 25 years I still hold youand look into your dark alluring eyespinch myself to make sure it's not a dreamas we still touch each others bodies and tantalizefor each day I awake and caress youI fall deeper stillfor I was swept away by you my loveyou are my greatest thrill
Tom Atterberry4-7-02

my dear friend by my dad

Whispers in the wind, the voice of an old friendthe cradle of a distant memoryin the warm and pleasant sun, those dreams begin to runback to the times of you and meOceans apart could not hide our heartsI can almost still feel you herebut like a flutter in the air, your love I will always shareand there are days I can still feel you nearand when the wall of sadness calls my namejust the thought of you lifts my spirits highfor I just know you are up there watchingthrough a soft and peaceful skySo I will endure these dusty roadsuntil I reach my earthly endI will be comforted by your remembranceUntil we meet againmy dear friend.Tom Atterberry2-19-02

lifes many faces

Moon melting orange in the skyacross the purple and blue tinged huescarlet sorrow entwinedinside of youseagulls call in the distanceI lie here in the early morning sunwatching the crabs scamper to their hide awayI look back to the past, and feel the memories runlike a child at play in a field of greenthrough the vast valley floormy heart still like an eaglebut it can soar no moreI feel the spirit of the grizzlybut I may flounder just as wellfor I am in a state of shockit's duration I cannot tellas the fiery ball of lightsets again for another daybetween the Hills of experienceI wave the blues awayI bless the love and kindnessand swallow the pain as wholeI will survive the high crashing riftsbut it will not impede upon my goal.Tom Atterberry3-2-02

my dads poem

Time is running away like a wild stallionbut this old goat, just does his thingyounger bucks make comments todaybut they to will setime just flies awaylooking back I didn't sow many wild oatsso there's not to many weeds to pullyes sometimes i get lonelymaybe my life is someway dullsometimes people call me on the phoneusually if they need a handbut when it's cold and I'm alonethey just don't seem to understandso like the mighty oak treeI bear the scars of seasons pastbut it to shows it's age in timeme with wrinkles, and itwhen it's bark is castlike the snow you see in winterso to does it color my hairlacking in spots, some call distinctionI just say it's all baremy heart dances with springtimethough my body talks of fallmany sorrows and memoriesand I have survived them all.Tom Atterberry3-15-02

my dads short story that he wrote

A short but sweet encounter on a California beach in 1956, was special to Gina and Tommy but they did not realize at the time. They went about their lives and even though they were unaware that they had met for a reason, a small piece of their hearts ached for years to come. Neither one could find what this missing piece was. Tommy went on to become a sheriff in a small town, in Oklahoma where he had moved in 1961 after finishing his tenure ay Oklahoma University. He turned down a football career for the simple but hard life of a farmer. He was at a party gone bad in the country near his home, and when the arrests were made, he found one had put a slug in his side. He was so busy dealing with the scene that he didn't feel the injury till later. He was sent to a major Hospital in Oklahoma City, where he had surgery and was to recuperate. He had a hard time trying to just be there, he hated being confined. On the third day standing at the window looking out, with his IV bottle and all attached He was leaning out the third floor looking down bare ass showing. A hmm hmm from a soft voice said 'and what do you think you are doing' when he turned around he almost fainted from the person he saw in front of him it was Gina, she had become a nurse. She was equally in awe, but still used her abilities to get Tommy back in bed. They talked of where each had been, and what they had done. The head nurse walked in and said I hate to break up your reunion, but I need some blood for some tests, Tommy said then don't interrupt us, you can get the blood later it ain't going nowhere. Gina had been married but she had divorced because he became a drunk and beat her all the time, yet she said he still tries to come around and rein havoc from time to time. A few days later before Tommy's discharge, they exchanged phone numbers and address. But fate still was not to be kind, it was several months before they would communicate again. {2} Tommy was into an investigation over a murder homicide that was down near the county seat, and Gina was dealing with classes and mid terms as she was going for her RN. a couple of letters filtered down to Tommy, and then they just stopped he sent several more, and tried to call but there was never an answer. He began to get curious as well as worry, one weekend he finally got a day off and drove to Oklahoma City to see if he could locate her. After checking at the address on the letters he could see that her mail box was stuffed with past dated mail, he asked neighbors they told him she was in the hospital, her ex-husband had beat her pretty bad. He drove to her job and asked what room she was in, and rushed to her side. She was in a coma, he fell to his knees never before a tear now they came like the rain. He made contact with local officials they had not located him yet. He went back to Gina's bedside held her hand for hours, kissing her cheek and hand and praying for her recovery. I don't know if you can hear me, but I pray God will let you come out of this...I love you Gina through tear stained eyes and a sorrowful heart he pledged. And to him self he decided that he would find this sick Bastard as well, they better hope I don't find him first. Everyday for the next six months Tommy would put in his day, drive to Gina hold her hand till wee hours of the morning then drive back home about a 100 mile round trip. Also during this time He met her parents and they began talking a lot of her and how they met so long ago. Gina's Father Enrico had to get back to work so he left and Her mother took up room at Tommy's mothers house for the mean time. As time went by Maria Gina's mother became very close to Tommy and his mother Linda. On days off Tommy spent all his time searching for clues and back tracking Gina's X. then back to the hospital to see her, eventually they wanted to release her to an old age home, but Tommy said no way she will live with us. The two mothers became her care givers, Gina's Father traveling back and forth as he could. {3} One evening Tommy was tired and feeling down he stopped into a local tavern, he began shooting pool and just general talk with some of his friends who felt a bit left out since all this started. They told him he needed to give up on this venture and start living his life again. He told them he understood their feelings, but if they were really his friends they would hang with him through this. He got quite drunk, for the first time since he celebrated his 21st, he started crying deeply at the side of the bank near his house where he stared at the moon and stars and asked God to please help Gina, and let this miserable man be found. He started his day by kissing her lips, and each night he would kneel at her bedside take her hand and pray again. One December morning, he walked out to the back gate to get hay for the horses and his mother started screaming frantically to him. Tommy, Tommy please hurry come now. He thought the worse and ran to the house, as he arrived he saw what they saw her eyes had movement and her toes wiggled. He called the hospital, sobbing with happiness. They said get her in here we will try to give her some therapy to see what kind of response there is, but do not build up you hope to far. He took her in and Physical Therapy began. The doctors were not very elated, but Tommy felt faith would not be daunted and he would continue his vigil. A sheriff called him the following day, to assist on a road block of a suspected killer at large. He drove up to the location and brought the dogs for foot patrol of the surrounding woods. Seemed some guy had robbed a local diner and killed the lady cashier, cause she didn't put the money in a bag fast enough. And to add more sorrow to that, she was seven months pregnant and was trying to raise a little boy too. There was a thirty square mile area sectioned off, and for almost two weeks Tommy was away from His Gina, but he always called routinely. Finally one day just about sunrise, they were going to call off the hunt when there in the thicket by Murphy's pasture he heard a noise, he quietly made his way to the area. He called the others before he started to investigate, it could be anything. Just as he approached the clearing he heard a shot then felt a pain to his right shoulder. He fell to the ground, he looked and saw the blood. About that time another officer was hit as well but he was not so lucky. Tommy got to his car and called it in, then ran up to Murphy's house and borrowed a horse. There was no way he could drive or catch him on foot in his condition. Finally near Perlita Creek he had him cornered, and the other officers were coming at the killer from the rear. But rather than give up, he rushed toward Tommy blindly shooting, Tommy told him to drop his gun and just lie down but it was no use. So as he got closer Tommy fired and hit him in the leg, he approached the guy and kicked away his pistol, and as he tried to raise him up he came at Tommy with a hunting knife. After a missing swipe of the blade Tommy realized upon looking closely that this was Gina's X, here before him. Tears rolled down his face, a hatred filled his heart. But he held onto his sense of direction, the other officers arrived and while they were trying to cuff him he grabbed one of their guns from it's holster. Tommy thought quickly and shot, he was probably dead before he hit the ground. Tommy hit him right between the eyes. After Tommy went to the local clinic to get patched up, and cleaned up at home he called home to check on Gina, he did not tell them his troubles for it was so trivial compared to His Loves. {4} Tommy was given some well earned time off, of which he spent most of the time with Gina. He began occupying some of his time writing love sonnets, something he had not done since his hap hazard days at High school. He started building a log cabin near the mouth of Patterson Creek, in the lower ten acres of his farm. He felt this would be a house for him and Gina, it kept his faith strong. It never once entered his mind that what if she died, or never came out of the coma. He had many local gals after him, but soon they thought he was insane some also wished they had a man with such dedication. Tommy had been to a local football game, just for a change of pace when he got a call on his two way. Gina was out of her coma, he drove frantically all the way there. Very weak, and looking around she said only mumbles. But after four years she had awakened. It took another three years of extensive therapy, and Tommy had worked a lot of hours and sold off most of his old farm down the road to keep up the vigil. Friends donated money and sold other things to help. Gina's father cashed in savings bonds and his life insurance, and years of prayers were offered and it finally all paid off. In 1969, eight years after the beginning of this Tommy and Gina were married. Down by the creek where Tommy had built their new home, there were thousands of people there from all over, amidst the blooming meadow flowers. On their thirtieth wedding anniversary, he set with her on the same beach where they first chanced to meet, he said what if you would have said no after all that time I waited? What if you didn't love me? Gina said who couldn't love you, and who would be such a fool. So many years ago, a few moments on this beach that became a lifetime. What no one knew. Tom Atterberry 4-19-02